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Frustrations, Accomplishments and Loss

Ever just completely have a brain fart?

Seriously, I'm working on a new version of the web site I've been prepping at work (at the meeting to discuss it, they came up with a list of about twenty things they want "a little different" from what it looks like now. Actually, what they want is lots of javascript, CSS and dynamic html. All three things I'm not really good at, so what they're going to get is my best work until they finally do what they should have done and turn this over to the corporate web team who has people who do this for a living, instead of enthusiastic amateurs like myself.

(Hey, I do a mean HTML, but I never learned the fancy stuff and still don't see the big deal with using most of it. I'm more a follower of Jakob Nielsen, when it comes down to it.)

But, for some reason today, what should have been a very simple task completely was beyond my ability today. I don't know if I'm simply missing something in the code or if all the various style sheets I'm linked to, (because I'm still using the original template and "tweaking it"), are interfering with my new layout or what I'm doing.

I spent over three hours on one table and it still looks like guano.

I'm supposed to post the new web site tomorrow, but given the fact the PM is out all next week on TDY, I'm thinking Tuesday is a more reasonable date, especially since data that was due to me last Friday still hasn't show up except from one person . . .

Now, hopefully, I'll get into work tomorrow and immediately see what the hell I was doing wrong and get going. I have a feeling I let myself get too wrapped around the axle and let my frustration keep me from seeing the obvious.

*sigh*
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Spent some time working on Steel on Target tonight. It was a good session, (I've noticed, bad day at work, good night of writing . . . hmmmm), where I added 2,090 words to Chapter Nine. That certainly helped toward the ol' writing goal. And, I was a real bastage to my main character tonight. I dropped a bomb in his lap by killing off the obvious romantic interest in the story.

Right now, he's going through the whole loss/anger/denial phase. What makes it worse, he sent her on the mission where she gets killed, so, of course, he's blaming himself for not being there. Right now, I'm writing it as internal monologue with him arguing with himself, almost as if there were two people in his head taking both sides. I don't know if this will survive the rewrite. It feels a little hokey right now . . . not because it doesn't happen. Lord knows, I've had those kind of arguments in my head before, but it's one thing to experience something for yourself and quite another thing to present it in a written format.

Obviously, in the cartoons, there'd be the little guy in a devil's suit on one shoulder and the angel wings on the other. This isn't quite that cut and dried, but it's definitely logic versus ego/emotions going on in my MC's head right now.

Plus, there's no doubt more of the major supporting characters are going to die over the next few chapters (this is military science fiction after all), and bad things happen to good people when bullets and missiles start flying all over a battlefield. If I had to compare them, I'd say this has a lot more in common with Sgt. Rock than Sgt. Fury. (The old D.C./Marvel fans will know what I'm talking about here.)

Luckily, my short experience in the first Gulf War was casualty-free and everyone I was responsible for over there came home in one piece, so I don't have personal experience to draw on. Still, I have lost friends and family when I was no where near and I remember what I went through, especially the unreasonable guilt for being so far away, not that I could have done anything for them if I had been there, but it's sometimes hard to convince yourself to concede that point. Hopefully, I can translate that into my writing of this scene.

*sigh again*
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Words for Today

2090 / 1000 words. 209%

Progress on Steel on Target

43232 / 90000 words. 48%

Words for 2008

128229 / 366000 words. 35%

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